”

Such a miserable experience, reading this comic. It’s the narrative equivalent of watching the first episode of that Justice League cartoon in three minute bursts over the course of five months—there’s just no way to enjoy that, it’s fucking absurd. When you’re a kid and you want to hold a boner longer, they tell you to do that exercise where you drape a wet washrag on your shaft and flex it up and down, but they never go so far as to say that you’re going to enjoy doing that, or that it’s as fun as jerking off, or that you better watch out because you might prefer washrag flexing to putting the thing inside a lady. DC doesn’t seem to have ever understood the difference. It’s not a surprise that they don’t—take a look at the Beat or the Journal’s current comment sections, you’ll get a plaster cast of what’s wrong with comics on both sides—but that doesn’t change how tepid and unsatisfying this whole exercise of the Johns/Lee combine has become. Anyway. The Internet says you shouldn’t hope people get fired, but honestly, if you just went down the list and got rid of every single person who believes that this comic is worth the four dollars they’re asking for it, there’s no possible way you wouldn’t see an increase in the intelligence average the next time everybody at the staff table pools their “resources” and pours them, like warm oatmeal, into Eddie Berganza’s beckoning gullet.

Tucker Stone on Justice League #5.
4 months ago
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